The Sex, the Gender and Sexuality.

We’re all aware and accepting of the two sexes i.e Male and Female only because they have been incorporated into society since time immemorial. What about the others?

Q1. What is the difference between Sex and Gender?

First things first – sex and gender do not mean the same thing. They are not interchangeable. In fact, they have quite different meanings which people either ignore or aren’t aware of.

Sex refers to males and females; i.e sex implies the biological differences, chromosomes, hormonal profiles, internal sex organs. It is determined on the basis of the visual inspection of the newborn’s genitalia.

Gender refers to masculine or feminine; i.e it is a social construct that characterises how males and females are supposed to behave (males are supposed to be masculine, while females are supposed to be feminine).

‘man’ = male sex + masculine social role

‘female’ = female sex + feminine social role (1)


Q2. How many types of Sexes and Genders are there?

There are three types of sexes: Male (persons born with a penis and testicles), Female (persons born with a vagina and uterus), Hermaphrodite or Intersex (persons born with both male and female sex organs).

There are several types of genders for example, Transgender (a person whose self identity does not conform with their biological sex)

In better words, according to a writer on Quora, who puts it very eloquently:

Imagine a gradient. Here’s one:

How many discrete colours are in that gradient?

Sure, you can see some easily identifiable ones. There’s a bunch of blues, some yellows, some reds, some greens… And so on.

But it’s tougher to separate out a specific number of colors, and there doesn’t really need to be a specific total because gradients serve a different purpose.

Gender is like that. It’s not about body parts.(2)

Q3. What is Genderfluid? 

Please note that this isn’t some kind of liquid that somehow enhances your existence or whatsoever, you’re confusing it with vegetable juice. *rolls eyes*

To be genderfluid means to have a gender identity  which varies over time and is fluid. Some days a gender fluid person may feel more male, some days more female and some days they may feel like they are both, neither, or a mixture. (3)


Q4. What does nonbinary, bigender and agender mean? 

NONBINARY: it is an umbrella concept, i.e covers any gender identity that doesn’t fit in within the gender binary, some of which are:

  • Agender: without gender; often used as an identification for people who do not identify with or conform to any gender; pronouns used include they/them.
  • Bigender: tendency to shift between both masculine and feminine gender type behaviour (depending on context).
  • Genderfluid: it means to have a gender identity  which varies over time and is fluid, a genderfluid person may feel like a mix of male and female, but may feel boy more some days, feel girl more other days (has nothing to do with their genitalia)
  •  Neutrois: considered to be a neutral or null gender; it may also refer to someone who identifies as genderless, neither male nor female.
  • Androgynous: having both male and female characteristics (in appearance).



Q5. What does cisgender and transgender mean?

  • Cisgender (abb, cis) : a person whose self-identity conforms with their biological sex.

For example: a cisgender woman is a person who was assigned female at birth and identifies as female.


a cisgender male = a male

a cisgender female = female 

  •  Transgender: a person whose self identity does not conform with their biological sex.

For example:

(i) a transgender woman is a person who was assigned male at birth but who identifies as a female. 

(ii) a transgender man is a person who was assigned female at birth but who identifies as a male. 


DISCLAIMER: Being transgender is not a phase or a choice, but a consistent gender identity. (4)

Q6. What is the LGBTQ+ Community? 

The acronym LGBT stands for “Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender”. The community refers to a group of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and LGBT-supportive people and organisations united by a common culture and social movements.

Lesbian: a woman who is primarily attracted to other women.

Gay: a person who is attracted primarily to members of the same sex; it can be used for any sex (eg: gay man, gay woman, gay person), “lesbian” is the preferred term for women to who are attracted to women. (5)

Bisexual: a person who is attracted to people of their own gender as well as the opposite gender; also called “bi”.

Transgender (the third gender): in addition to the definition given above (a person whose self identity does not conform with their biological sex), this is frequently used as an umbrella term to refer to all people who do not identify with their assigned gender at birth or the binary gender system (i.e males and females); this includes:

  • transsexuals
  • cross-dressers
  • genderqueer
  • drag kings and drag queens, and others;

Some transgender people feel they exist not within one of the two standard gender categories, but rather somewhere between, beyond, or outside of those two genders. (6)

Queer: (i) an umbrella term sometimes used by LGBTQ people to refer to the entire LGBT community; (ii) an alternative that some people use to labels and categories such as lesbian, gay, bisexual, etc. The word “queer” often has a derogatory sense to it. 


but when someone uses it on their self, it’s considered alright.


Q7. What does the “+” after LGBTQ mean?

The “+” sign after LGBTQ implies the addition of additional letters to the acronym; this often connotes broader inclusion of different communities and community members. All out, the letters come down to: LGBTQQIP2SAA i.e Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, and:

  • Questioning: refers to individuals who are unsure of their sexual orientation and/or gender identity
  • Intersex: people with two sets of genitalia or various chromosomal differences
  • Pansexual: refers to individuals who feel emotional and sexual and romantic attraction to individuals of all gender identities and sexes
  • 2S for Two-Spirit: a tradition in many First Nations (American-Indian community) that considers sexual minorities to have both male and female spirits
  • Asexual: a person who generally does not feel sexual attraction or desire to any group of people; asexuality is not the same as celibacy.
  • Allies: recognising that the community thrives best with loving supporters, although they are not really part of the community itself. (7)

Q8. Who are Heterosexuals and Homosexuals? What does Homophobia mean?

Heterosexual: a person who is only attracted to members of the opposite sex; also called “straight.” (eg: a man is attracted to a woman; a woman attracted to a man)

Homosexual (a.k.a ‘gay’): a person who is attracted to members of the same sex;


The process of acknowledging one’s sexual orientation and/or gender identity to other people is called “coming out“. For most LGBT people this is a life-long process.

HOMOPHOBIA: a range of negative attitudes and feelings toward homosexuality or people who are identified or perceived as being lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender (LGBT); it can be expressed as contempt, prejudice, aversion, or hatred, may be based on irrational fear, and is sometimes related to religious beliefs. (8)

In the words of Tumblr:

tumblr_inline_o0nrhhDGEi1tcm32p_540 (1)

DISCLAIMER: It’s extremely important to respect a person’s desired self-identity. It is wrong for anyone to assume another person’s identity based on the person’s appearance. Before jumping to conclusions, it is always best to ask people how they identify, including what pronouns they prefer. 


PS: Please do notify me if I got any information wrong, this stuff is important and I need to know where I went wrong!

PPS: If you’d like to read more about this, visit for some more FAQs (or feel free to drop one in a comment section!) 


The Es|Sex|ntial Talk.

Note: There’s no need to be shy and/or paranoid that someone from your family will walk into your room while you’re reading this – in the words of a few people I know – absolutely scandalous piece of information, because it’s anything but. This is important. This is information every teenager must be aware of. This is the article that is going to save you the embarrassment you will face when you ask questions like this, this, or this(Some of my favourite ones are: “Can your baby get pregnant if you have sex while pregnant?”, “How do I grow a vag? Is there some kind of pill?” ,“Will getting an abortion make me back into a virgin?” and “In 7th grade I kissed a boy on the cheek and I’m worried that I am pregnant and I can’t eat bananas?”)

Ah, the naivety. Let’s start with the basics, yes?

Q1. Why is Sex Education so important?

FUN FACT: 16 million girls ages 15-19 give birth each year, and about 77% of these pregnancies are unplanned. (1)

Sex is a topic that is still not correctly approached and/or taught about to teenagers all over the world, and what’s worse – it’s barely talked about in orthodox countries like India where it is considered ‘taboo’. Moreover, cultures where teenagers engaging in sexual intercourse is definitely a possibility, parents are reluctant to talk about it because they either believe their children will ask for their permission before they actually do the deed, or that they’re being taught at school (which they are, but not candidly enough). Due to this, many teenagers end up facing unplanned pregnancy, resulting in their young lives spiralling out of control. Apart from unplanned pregnancies, there is always the lurking risk of sexually transmitted diseases (STDs).

Sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) are caused by infections that are passed from one person to another during sexual contact. (2)

Sexual health is a vital component of overall health and well being of a person. And therefore, the youth in particular should be familiar with the nooks and crannies of their bodies, not only to prevent the aforementioned problems but also to adopt a positive self image and to integrate sexuality into healthy and mutually satisfying relationships.

Q2. Which are the reproductive organs of the body? 



Source: Google Images

There are external reproductive organs and internal reproductive organs of the body.

The internal reproductive organs include:

  • Vagina – muscular tube that is three to four inches long; this place where a man’s penis enters the woman during sexual intercourse; protected by the labia (explained below).
  • Uterus (womb) – pear shaped organ; home to the developing foetus for nine months; divided into two parts: the cervix (lower part that opens into the vagina; a channel allows sperm to enter and menstrual blood to exit) and the corpus (main body of uterus).

FUN FACT: During the ninth month of pregnancy, the uterus extends from a woman’s pubic area to the bottom of her rib cage. That’s almost the size of a watermelon. (3)

  • Ovaries – they produce eggs (the female reproductive cell) and hormones (oestrogen and progesterone)
  • Uterine (or Fallopian) Tubes – tubes attached to the upper part of the uterus on either side; carry the eggs from the ovaries to the uterus; fertilisation of an egg by a sperm (conception) occurs here and the fertilised egg then attaches itself into the lining of the uterine wall.

There are two functions of the external reproductive organs:

  1. To enable the sperm (the male reproductive cell) to enter the body.
  2. To protect the internal reproductive organs from infectious organisms.

The external reproductive organs include:

  • Labia majora (singular: labium majus) – two relatively large and fleshy folds of the skin; comparable to the scrotum in males. (4)

FUN FACT: The labia majora join to form the cleft shape of the female genitals. This is also known the cleft of Venus, named after the Roman goddess of love. (5)

  • Labia minora (singular: labium minus) – two folds of skin that lie inside the labia majora and surround the opening to the vagina and urethra; joined together by the fourchette (“little fork”) which is a small fold of skin; this can be torn during childbirth or during acts of sexual violence. 
  • Clitoris – a small protrusion located at the top of the vagina at the junction of the labia minora; comparable to the penis in males, the clitoris is sensitive to stimulation and can become erect.
  • Urethra – the urethral opening is where you pee from.

Orange is the New Black – lesson on female anatomy! (warning: includes curse words)

M A L E:


The Male Reproductive System

Most of the male reproductive system (penis, scrotum, testicles) is located outside of the body, unlike the female reproductive system.

The functions performed by the aforementioned organs are:

  1. To produce, maintain, transport sperm and protective fluid (semen, contains sperm).
  2. To discharge the sperm within the vaginal tract during sexual intercourse.
  3. To secrete the male sex hormones (testosterone: responsible for development of male characteristics such as muscle mass, facial hair, etc) responsible for maintaining the system.
  • Penis – the organ used in sexual intercourse, cylindrical in shape, consists of three circular chambers made up of sponge-like tissues (contains spaces that fill with blood when aroused), penis becomes erect when filled with blood.
  • Scrotum – behind and below the penis; contains the testicles (or the testes); acts as a climate control system for the testes.
  • Testicles – oval organs that lie in the scrotum, most men have two testes which are responsible for making testosterone and for generating sperm.
  • Epididymis – a long coiled tube that rests at the back of each testicle; transports and stores the sperm cells.
  • Vas deferens – long muscular tube that travels from the epididymis into the pelvic cavity, to just behind the bladder.
  • Urethra – carries urine from the bladder to outside of the body; has the additional function of ejaculating semen when the man reaches his orgasm.

As you can notice, the female reproductive system is far more interesting than the male reproductive system (hah!). Just kidding, here’s one way the latter definitely outruns the former:

FUN FACT: During a woman’s lifetime, she will only ovulate 300 to 400 of the 1-2 million eggs she was initially born with. On the other hand, men will produce over 500 billion sperm in their lifetimes. Far more gametes than any woman is ever born with. (6)

Q3. What causes pregnancy?

Pregnancy involves two major steps: an egg released by the ovary during ovulation (the ovary discharges an egg during your periods) and the egg is fertilised by a sperm cell.


Source: Google Images



The three steps of pregnancy (7):

  1. Ovulation – ovary released egg
  2. Fertilisation – sperm meets egg
  3. Implantation – the fertilised egg attaches itself to the lining of the uterus.




Sexual activities that do not cause pregnancy (girls, please, you should know this):

  1. Kissing
  2. Masturbation
  3. Frottage (dry humping – with clothes on)
  4. Oral Sex
  5. Anal Sex

Sexual activities that cause pregnancy

  1. Vaginal intercourse with a penis
  2. Any activity where semen (which contains sperms) is ejaculated near or in vagina.

FUN FACT: Contrary to popular belief, it is possible to get pregnant during your period. Sperm can live upto five days inside your body; it is possible for the sperm to enter your body during your period to still be alive when your body releases an egg during ovulation. (8)

Q4. What exactly happens during the menstrual cycle, a.k.a periods?large

Process of the Menstrual Cycle:


  1. The pituitary gland secretes a hormone that stimulates the egg cells in the ovaries to grow.
  2. Simultaneously, estrogen (the primary female sex hormone) triggers the lining of the uterus to thicken with blood and tissue in order to make a ‘cushion’ for a potential fertilised egg.

DAY 14 – Ovulation Phase

  1. The ovary releases the matured egg cell into the fallopian tube.


  1. The egg cell remains in the fallopian tube for approximately 24 hours.
  2. The hormone progesterone helps the estrogen to keep the lining of the uterus thick and ready to receive a fertilised egg.
  3. If the sperm cell does not fertilise the egg within that time, the uterine lining breaks down so that it (and the unfertilised egg) can be shed from the uterus.


  1. When the thickened lining of the uterus starts to shed, menstrual bleeding begins from the vagina. (Day 1 of the cycle; although it is the end of the entire process)
  2. Menstruation (bleeding) lasts from 2 to 7 days.
  3. It is likely that one experiences cramps and pains in the pelvic area, legs and back; this is because the uterus is contracting to help get rid of the lining.

FUN FACT: In the days before electricity, women’s bodies were influenced by the amount of moonlight we saw. Just as sunlight and moonlight affect plants and animals, our hormones were triggered by levels of moonlight. And, all women cycled together. Today, with artificial light everywhere, day and night, our cycles no longer correspond to the moon. (9)

large (1)

Q5. What are STDs? How do they spread?

The name itself i.e Sexually Transmitted Diseases should be enough to cringe, am I right?

STDs are infectious diseases that spread from one person to another through the means of intimate contact aka sexual intercourse (including but not limited to). You can acquire a STD by having sexual contact with someone who already has one. These are caused by different bacteria and viruses – and even tiny insects. Some of the common STDs are: genital warts, genital herpes, gonorrhoea, syphilis and HIV.

NOT A FUN FACT BUT NEEDED TO BE HIGHLIGHTED: One reason STDs spread is because people think they can only be infected if they have sexual intercourse. That’s wrong. A person can get some STDs, like herpes or genital warts, through skin-to-skin contact with an infected area or sore. (10)

Activities that increase the risk of getting an STD:

  1. Sexual activity at a young age (keep it in your pants)
  2. Having lots of sex partners
  3. Unprotected sex (this is kind of obvious, please)

How do you avoid STDs:

  1. Get tested for STDs (and treated, too)
  2. Have only one sexual partner
  3. Always use a condom

PS: Remember, kids, that women/men who have sex with women/men also are at risk for some STDs.


Q6. How do you prevent unplanned pregnancy? 

  1. You choose abstinence (aka no sex at all) – no pregnancy, no risk of STDs.
  2. You use contraceptives (eg: condom)

A contraceptive is a device or drug that is used to prevent pregnancy. There are several types of contraceptives (the most common of the lot being a condom) for both men and women.


  • Condom (male):  a latex barrier that prevents the sperms from entering the vagina; placed over the penis before sex; also helps prevent STDs.
  • Condom (female): YES, THESE EXIST TOO; has a flexible ring at each end, one of which is fixed behind the pubic bone (to hold the condom in place) while the other ring stays outside the vagina.

Source: Google Images

FUN FACT: The Egyptian pessary (a small soluble block) is the earliest contraceptive device for women. A concoction made of crocodile dung, honey, and sodium carbonate is inserted into the vagina to block and kill sperm. (11)

  • Diaphragms (female): shallow, flexible cup made of latex inserted into the vagina before intercourse, preventing sperm from entering the uterus. (Cervical Caps are similar devices but smaller, more rigid)
  • Contraceptive sponges (female): soft, disposable, spermicide-filled foam sponges; is inserted into the vagina before intercourse; sponge blocks sperm from entering the uterus, and the spermicide also kills the sperm cells.



  • Combined Oral Contraceptives or ‘the pill’ (female): consumption of these pills interferes with ovulation; one to be taken daily preferably at the same time each day.
  • Emergency Contraceptive Pills (female): hormonal pills; are intended for use in the event of unprotected intercourse; if taken prior to ovulation, the pills can delay or inhibit ovulation for at least 5 days to allow the sperm to become inactive; cause thickening of cervical mucus and may interfere with sperm function.


  • The IUD (female): an IUD is a small, T-shaped device inserted into the uterus to prevent pregnancy; there are two types: the copper IUD, the hormonal IUD.


Sterilization is a permanent form of birth control that either prevents a woman from getting pregnant or prevents a man from releasing sperm. (12)

  • Blocking the fallopian tube (female): this way, the sperm cannot reach the egg.
  • Tubal ligation (female): the doctor cuts (ouch!), ties, or seals the fallopian tubes; blocks the path between ovaries and uterus; sperm cannot reach egg and fertilise it and the egg cannot reach the uterus.
  • Vasectomy (male): the doctor cuts, closes or blocks the vas deferens; blocks the path between the testes and the urethra; sperm cannot leave the testes and reach the egg.

Something to think about, yes?